Is it possible that your own behavior might be something that is keeping you from finding a relationship that works? Although you might think you are ready for love, there are some ways that we self-sabotage our own desires when it comes to relationships. Let’s look at 5 behaviors that keep you from finding a relationship that will work well for your needs.
5 BEHAVIORS THAT KEEP YOU FROM FINDING A RELATIONSHIP THAT WORKS
1. YOU’VE YET TO HEAL FROM THE HURT OF YOUR CHILDHOOD
Psychologists call your adult relationship style your ‘attachment style’ and they say that the way you bond with a romantic partner is based on how you learned love as a child. If your childhood years were not happy ones, it takes a lot of healing before you can find a relationship that works.
Psychologists at Texas A&M University who looked at 144 dating couples found that those with anxious or avoidant attachment styles had more negative emotions and fewer positive emotions in their relationships. The partners with secure attachment styles were the ones who had the most positive emotions and the least negative emotions during their relationships.
2. YOU APPLY THE DEAL BREAKER RULE TO EVERY DATE
Man Hands, Close Talker, and the Double Dip were all reasons that characters on the TV show Seinfeld had to dump their dates. If you give your dates deal-breaker status based on their negative behavior, that is totally unfair. Sure, we all have deal breakers that will just get under our skin so we know to avoid those types of people, but you’re not perfect either. Labeling your partner’s negative behavior while ignoring their positive traits is not giving them a fair deal. It’s possible that this is one behavior that is keeping you from finding a relationship that works. Try focusing on the positive aspects of your next partner.
3. YOU’RE AFRAID OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID FIND THE RIGHT PERSON
Fear is not uncommon for those who are single, and in this case it’s the fear of finding a relationship that works. Sometimes you fear losing your freedom, or losing the potential for another romantic partner who could be even better and who might come along when you aren’t available. Sometimes, it is a fear of success that keeps you from true love.
4. YOU’RE PURSUING SOMEONE WHO ISN’T SINGLE
Maybe he or she will leave their spouse, but in the meantime, you’re tying yourself up with someone who isn’t available, which means you are also not available to find someone who is looking for you.
5. YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP WHO YOU ARE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP
You should never have to sacrifice your personality for a romantic partner, so resolve to never let that happen and be ready for the possibility of a love where you can still be yourself AND be in a relationship that works.